The Adventures of the Queen of Insanity: Book 1
by Turtle Queen of Freeks
Summary: When Barbie and her army of preps attempt to take over Freece, Turtle and Monkey must gather the Queens together to save their world.
1. Can I tell the story now?

Prologue  
  
Before I even begin this story of madness, I would like to thank everyone who has ever called me a psycho, nerd, geek, freak, weirdo, or demented person. They have all contributed to this story with their stupidity. Or in other words, thanks for nothin you FOOLS! Anyway, here's my story:  
  
~*~  
  
Can I start the story now?  
  
Turtle: I am Turtle, Queen of Freaks, and I'm one of the narrating characters in these stories. Yes, I know the story says Queen of Insanity, but this story isn't exactly about me.  
  
Monkey: It's about me!  
  
Turtle: Are you sure?  
  
Monkey: Yes.  
  
Turtle: How do you know?  
  
Monkey: Because I am Monkey, Queen of Insanity, and I decree that it is so!  
  
Turtle: Are you sure you're not the Queen of Stuck-Up Snootiness?  
  
Monkey: *throws fish tank* Shut up!  
  
Turtle: *ducks* Can I just tell the story now?  
  
Monkey: Well, fine! I'll just go bother someone else.  
  
Turtle: In that case, I've got some of your stuff to sell. *starts to walk away*  
  
Monkey: Oh no, you don't! *throws pelican*  
  
Turtle: Where do you get that stuff that you throw?  
  
Monkey: I don't know.  
  
Turtle: If you try to eat it, you might get powers.  
  
Monkey: But I've already got powers.  
  
Turtle: But they're not supernatural.  
  
Monkey: Good point. *tries to eat donut that has just appeared*  
  
Turtle: Wait! You don't know where that's been!  
  
Monkey: What's the worst place it could have been?  
  
Turtle: Up an interior decorator's butt.  
  
Monkey: *sticks out tongue while disposing of "chocolate" donut*  
  
Turtle: Anyway, it all started with Monkey-Butt. . .  
  
Monkey: *growls angrily*  
  
Turtle: *shape-shifts into EVILL! and doom/ possessed/ demonic white rabbit*  
  
Monkey: Show off. *pouts*  
  
Turtle: At least I can show off, Monkey-Butt.  
  
Monkey: *throws enraged leopard* DON'T CALL ME MONKEY-BUTT! MY NAME'S MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Turtle: *squeaks* OK.  
  
Monkey: *smirks* 


	2. The story begins

The story begins  
  
Turtle: *still scared* Can I tell the story now?  
  
Monkey: Certainly.  
  
Turtle: Thank you. It all started when Monkey found that door in the woods. Of course when she found it floating in the freaking AIR, she didn't know it was MAGIC!  
  
Monkey: I thought it was hanging by something!  
  
Turtle: Something invisible?  
  
Monkey: *shrugs*  
  
Turtle: OK. . . Well, Monkey poked it, so it fell down. She caught it and used it for her tree house. So she finishes the tree house, and as if all the stuff she'd done weren't dangerous, she went out and bought The Book of Worlds, one of the most dangerous books in the worlds, for $5.99 while never questioning the low price!  
  
Monkey: It was on sale! How was I supposed to know it was dangerous?  
  
Turtle: Anyway, she bought it and cast a spell in the tree house so that if you used a certain key to unlock the door when going in the tree house, you would go to a place you had read about.  
  
Monkey: It wasn't like I couldn't get back! All I had to do was use the key to open a door in the air to get back to my world.  
  
Turtle: Frankly, Stupid, I don't give a damn.  
  
Monkey: I'm not stupid! Besides I met you in the first world I came to. And don't swear!  
  
Turtle: Luckily for you. How'd you find out about Freece anyway?  
  
Monkey: I found one of your notebooks buried in my backyard.  
  
Turtle: I always wondered what happened to those notebooks that I lost.  
  
Monkey: Remember how I came to Freece?  
  
Turtle: Yeah. . . 


	3. Flashback

Disclaimer: I do not own Barbie, and if I ever did I would have committed suicide already.  
  
Flashback  
  
Monkey: *comes into world through portal*  
  
Turtle: *riding up on giant mouse* Who are you, and what are you doing in the royal forest?  
  
Monkey: I came here through the door. I'm Monkey, and I'm crazy.  
  
Turtle: Oh. I'd better bring you to the other queens.  
  
Monkey: Queens?  
  
Turtle: I'm Turtle, Queen of Freaks. This is Freece, my world.  
  
Monkey: Really? I'm Monkey, Queen of Insanity.  
  
Turtle: At least you're not a prep. Most of them have been banished to the land of *dum dum duuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm. . .* Barbie.  
  
Monkey: *gasp* 


	4. Back to the story

Back in real life  
  
Turtle: So I took her to meet Horse, Queen of Common Sense, Paprika, Queen of Blondeness, and Giraffe, Queen of Street Sense.  
  
Monkey: I didn't really like that blonde girl.  
  
Turtle: Paprika can read this.  
  
Monkey: Oh. Shutting up now.  
  
Turtle: Anyway, we initiated Monkey into the Sisterhood of the Travelling Queens.  
  
Monkey: Then I told them about how I got there. . .  
  
Turtle: And we told her to get a traveling partner.  
  
Monkey: Safety in numbers!  
  
Turtle: So that's how Monkey became my traveling partner.  
  
Monkey: *hugs Turtle*  
  
Turtle: *punches Monkey in stomach*  
  
Monkey: *doubles over and glares*  
  
Turtle: *smirks* 


	5. Welcome to Freece

Welcome to Freece  
  
Monkey: So now I'm her traveling buddy. Turtle's even helping me build Insartia, my own country.  
  
Turtle: But we mainly hang out in Freece.  
  
Monkey: Places like Jucla. . .  
  
Turtle: The capital city. . .  
  
Monkey: The Mountains of Bunakro. . .  
  
Turtle: The Sea of Miari. . .  
  
Monkey: The Jeweled Wood. . .  
  
Turtle: The Meadow of Iffryk. . .  
  
Monkey: Places like that.  
  
Turtle: It's really fun.  
  
Monkey: Anyway here's how a normal-ish day is for us. 


	6. A Normalish Day

A Normal-ish Day  
  
Turtle: So I wake up.  
  
Monkey: Eventually.  
  
Turtle: *glares* And get dressed.  
  
Monkey: Which takes forever.  
  
Turtle: Only because SOME of us accept the fact that we're girls.  
  
Monkey: And what is that supposed to mean?  
  
Turtle: *rolls eyes* It means, O foolish one, that you couldn't be girly if you wanted to.  
  
Monkey: I'm not "foolish", and I DON'T want to be girly.  
  
Turtle: Are you sure you're not just expressing your inability to be girly?  
  
Monkey: Huh?  
  
Turtle: *groans* Are you sure you're not just saying that, because you can't be girly?  
  
Monkey: Oh. *shrugs*  
  
Turtle: Answer me!  
  
Monkey: I did. 


	7. Monkey's Mental Breakdown

Monkey's Mental Breakdown  
  
Turtle: Shrugging is not an answer. Yes or no?  
  
Monkey: Can we just get on with the story?  
  
Turtle: *stares suspiciously at Monkey who stares blankly back* FINE. So I get up, eat breakfast, and go through my portal to Monkey's treehouse.  
  
Monkey: Where she meets up with me.  
  
Turtle: Who else would I meet up with? KBlob?  
  
Monkey: Don't even make me think about that-that-that. . . *stares off into space and twitches repeatedly*  
  
Turtle: Monstrosity? Thing? Evil being of EAVILL!  
  
Monkey: *continues to twitch*  
  
Turtle: MONKEY!  
  
Monkey: *still twitching*  
  
Turtle: Monkey, remember KBlob is in a mental facility far, far away. In fact they probably just sent her up into outer space to save the Greenpeace people the trouble.  
  
Monkey: *stops twitching and sits up* But what if they send us to the same sanitarium?  
  
Turtle: I never knew that you knew big words.  
  
Monkey: *sticks out tongue* But what if they do?  
  
Turtle: She'll probably be in a strait jacket and under too much shock therapy to know who we are.  
  
Monkey: Oh. Good. *pause* What's a strait jacket?  
  
Turtle: They're those pretty white jackets that they force you to wear so that you don't kill anybody.  
  
Monkey: Oh. But why would we kill anybody?  
  
Turtle: Well some insane people are rude although most of them are nice. Like that guy who thinks the squirrels are after him. Of course, the fact that he is mistaken has nothing to do with his rudeness.  
  
Monkey: Then who are the squirrels after?  
  
Turtle: Those old ladies who dye their big hair blonde and wear way too much lipstick and chew gum all the time.  
  
Monkey: Eewwwwwwwww!!!  
  
Turtle: That's what the squirrels said. *pause* Where were we in the story anyway? 


	8. Back to the Normalish Day Thing

Back to the Normal-ish Day Thing  
  
Monkey: We were describing a normal-ish day for us in Freece when you so rudely mentioned the Screamin' Demon.  
  
Turtle: Oh, yeah. So anyway, I meet up with Monkey at her treehouse where she's overly awake.  
  
Monkey: I'm not "overly awake". I'm simply awake whereas you always act like the living dead when you wake up.  
  
Turtle: That's because I HATE waking up because it's EAVILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Monkey: and doom.  
  
Turtle: Thank you. How can you not hate waking up?  
  
Monkey: I do. I just wake up early, so that by the time you get here I'm fully awake.  
  
Turtle: Oh. Well, anyway after we meet up, we go through a portal into the Royal Castle in Frakken where we change into Freecian  
  
Monkey: and Insartian  
  
Turtle: clothes. And I of course do my make-up.  
  
Monkey: Couldn't you just do that at home?  
  
Turtle: If my family knew I even owned black eye shadow, they'd think I was depressed. I think they went crazy when I went to that shrink for a few months. Darn shrink.  
  
Monkey: And while she does that I get to get our back-packs full of just-in- case junk. For instance, why do we need our tiaras?  
  
Turtle: Because it's hard for people to believe that you're a Queen without proof.  
  
Monkey: Oh. Well anyway we normally spend the rest of the day riding horses to the Lake at the Edge of the World where we talk to the other Queens.  
  
Turtle: Then, we ride back and visit every bookstore in Frakken.  
  
Monkey: After that, we go back to the castle and spend the rest of the day reading and talking. 


	9. TurtleBot, Tigris, the Good Doctress, an...

Turtle-Bot, Tigris, the "Good Doctress", and more. . .  
  
Turtle: And sometimes I crochet or do cross stitch.  
  
Monkey: Why do you do that stuff?  
  
Turtle: Because it's fun.  
  
Monkey: No, it's not.  
  
Turtle: Yes, it is.  
  
Monkey: Nopers!  
  
Turtle: Yep.  
  
Monkey: Nope.  
  
Turtle and Monkey: *continue arguing*  
  
*in the distance*  
  
Tibby: Do you think we should get their attention or something?  
  
Doctress: Only if I can blow something up.  
  
Tigris: *And miss all the action?*  
  
Turtle-Bot: Place your bets everyone.  
  
Tibby: Gambling is wrong!  
  
Doctress: She's right. . . Ten bucks says Turtle wins.  
  
Tigris: *No way. Turtle always gets tired of arguing after a few minutes. Twenty bucks.*  
  
Tibby: Loser has to submit to make-up testing.  
  
Tigris: *But animal testing is wrong.*  
  
Tibby: Oh, yeah. Darn!  
  
Turtle-Bot: That's not a very nice thing to say.  
  
Tibby: I mean. . . Oh, no!  
  
Doctress: Damn. Just when I thought she might actually get some common sense, she goes and does something like this. 


	10. Barbie meets Tibby

Disclaimer: As I have said before, I don't own Barbie.  
  
Barbie meets Tibby  
  
*Two days later*  
  
Monkey: No, it's not.  
  
Turtle: Yes, it is.  
  
*A portal opens behind them. Out steps a life-size Barbie doll.*  
  
Barbie: Give me a B!  
  
Tibby: B!  
  
Barbie: Give me a Y!  
  
Tibby: Y!  
  
Barbie: What's that spell?  
  
Tibby: BYE!  
  
Turtle: Didn't 'yall forget the E?  
  
Tibby: Good point.  
  
Barbie and Tibby: *push Turtle and Monkey through portal* E!  
  
Turtle: Damn preps.  
  
Monkey: Don't swear. 


	11. Author's Note

Author's Note  
  
Chapter 1  
  
ER, Queen of Insanity- Hey, Monkey! Well I just had to put that in. Sorry.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
ER, Queen of Insanity- Thank you.  
  
Faerie of Serendipity- The door's magical properties just amplify the spell. It's sort of like plugging an electric guitar into an amp.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Faerie of Serendipity- I'm glad you like it, but don't be so bossy!  
  
ER, Queen of Insanity- (  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Penguin, Queen of Mushrooms- Soon, my friend. Very soon.  
  
ER- Soon!  
  
ER, Queen of Insanity- DON'T CALL ME JENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Faerie of Serendipity- When I said Queen of Blondeness, it represents your personality. Like Monkey, Queen of Insanity, is called Queen of Insanity, because she's insane.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
ER- You lied to me. ( That hurts.  
  
If you reviewed, and I didn't answer you, then it wasn't up when I read my reviews. It's not my fault, so don't act offended. 


	12. Through the Portal

Through the Portal  
  
Turtle: How rude!  
  
Monkey: Really.  
  
Doctress: *appearing through portal* Ow!!!!!!!!!!! Whoever is responsible for this is going to pay!!!!!!!!!!! I'll use hair spray in their eyes and light their hair on fire if I have to, but they will pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Turtle: Welcome to wherever. Population: 3.  
  
Turtle-Bot:: *appears through portal*  
  
Turtle: Or 4.  
  
Tigris: *appears through portal which suddenly disappears* *Animal cruelty!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Turtle: Well it looks like there's no way out. Monkey, do you know where that monkey of yours is?  
  
Monkey: Well, I'd have to know where we are to tell her how to get here.  
  
Turtle: Damn.  
  
Monkey: Don't swear.  
  
Turtle: Monkey, in a situation like this I NEED to swear. It gets my creative juices flowing.  
  
Monkey: Oh, well.  
  
Turtle: I guess we'll just have to open a portal to somewhere else.  
  
Turtle-Bot:: Where are we going?  
  
Turtle: Carmenia.  
  
Tigris: *Good. I haven't talked to Pantoof in weeks.*  
  
Turtle: And Kim is probably missing, too. *to audience* In case, you don't know who Pantoof and Kim are, read Journey into Princessdom by Faerie of Serendipity.  
  
Audience: Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh.  
  
Turtle: *opens a portal to the Royal Gardens in Carmenia* *points in the vague direction of the Carmenian sky* Onward!  
  
Tigris: *shakes head at Turtle's strangeness and walks through the portal*  
  
Turtle-Bot:: *happily rolls through the portal while attempting to skip merrily*  
  
Monkey: *looks at the insanity around her, smiles, and walks through the portal*  
  
Doctress: *plants explosives in a dark corner and suspiciously walks through the portal while humming some spy music*  
  
Turtle: *closes the portal just before the room explodes*  
  
Doctress: *grins wickedly* 


	13. The Royal Gardens

The Royal Gardens  
  
Turtle: Why'd you have to blow that place up? With the right renovations we could have added it onto the dungeons.  
  
Doctress: But we don't have any dungeons.  
  
Turtle: Good point.  
  
Doctress: *smirks*  
  
Turtle: Don't rub it in, or I'll take away your nitroglycerin.  
  
Doctress: *rolls eyes*  
  
Monkey: *interrupts before Turtle and Doctress start arguing* Where's Paprika?  
  
Turtle: Probably somewhere in the palace. The only question is where.  
  
Turtle-Bot:: Do I get to hum the spy music this time?  
  
Doctress: *sighs exasperatedly* Fine.  
  
Turtle-Bot:: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tigris: *Be quiet. I'm starting to get a headache.*  
  
Turtle-Bot:: Okay, okay. *starts humming spy music quietly*  
  
Tigris: *rolls eyes*  
  
Turtle: Come on, 'yall. We've got to find Paprika..  
  
Everyone except Turtle: Okay.  
  
Turtle: As Paprika would say, cometh. *walks toward palace*  
  
Everyone else: *follows Turtle* 


	14. Paprika's Palace

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Barbie nor will I ever own Barbie unless someone leaves it to me in their will in which case, I'll sell it on E-Bay.  
  
Paprika's Palace  
  
~A few minutes later, in the palace~  
  
Monkey: I thought you'd been here before.  
  
Turtle: I have. I'm just not good with directions. Besides we normally meet at the Lake at the Edge of the World. Even you know that. I haven't been here since Carmenia's Independence Ball.  
  
Monkey: You should still know where we are.  
  
Turtle: I do know where we are. I just don't know where Paprika is.  
  
Monkey: Good point.  
  
Tigris: *You could have just asked me to navigate. But no. You know your way around the palace. You should navigate. Now look where it's gotten us.*  
  
Turtle: *opens a door on the left* Yes, now look where it's gotten us. Right to Paprika.  
  
Tigris: *We've passed this door five times already. If you'd let me lead we would have found her much quicker.*  
  
Nora: Veel you stop arguing?! It's geeving me a headache. Vat veeth Kim being gone and Pantoof trying to make up for her noise.  
  
Pantoof: *shining very pathetically and sobbing* I MISS KIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Turtle: Poor you. I miss my country's old government.  
  
Paprika: What do you mean?  
  
Turtle: Haven't you been reading? *hands Paprika a stack of papers* Readeth.  
  
Paprika: *reads through chapters quickly* I can't believe this!  
  
Doctress: Neither can I. I thought Barbie was too stupid to try and take over the world. And it's actually working so far.  
  
Paprika: The world?  
  
Doctress: Tell me you can't see that she's obviously trying to take over our world. She chose Freece, because it was the first country to come into existence in this world. Carmenia is next, because it was second.  
  
Turtle: We're trying to stop Barbie from hurting the citizens of this world. Besides if she takes my Queen of the World dress, I will obviously need to get revenge.  
  
Tigris: *Obviously* *taking a break from her conversation with Pantoof*  
  
Paprika: But Carmenia never did anything to her!  
  
Turtle: My theory is that the land of Barbie is getting too crowded for all of those preps. She wants more space.  
  
Paprika: But that's not nice!  
  
Turtle: That's not the point.  
  
Monkey: What is the point?  
  
Turtle: The point is that Barbie doesn't have to be nice. She just has to pretend to be nice. Have you heard about the new cheerleader Barbie dolls?  
  
Nora: Zat's true.  
  
Pantoof: But why would Kim do something like that?  
  
Turtle: Duh! She's a prep. 


	15. Monkey's 2nd Mental Breakdown

Disclaimer: For the last time, I do not and will not ever own Barbie.  
  
Monkey's 2nd Mental Breakdown  
  
Paprika: How many times do I have to tell you? It's pep not prep. Preppy means rich. Barbie acts peppy.  
  
Turtle: And how many times do I have to tell you? Prep sounds much better than pep.  
  
Paprika: But they mean two different things!  
  
Turtle: Not really. Cheerleaders are usually rich.  
  
Paprika: Good point. But what about the people at our old school who were all rich?  
  
Turtle: Some of them were intelligent people, but the rest were just plain stupid.  
  
Paprika: They weren't that stupid. You're just not optimistic.  
  
Turtle: Paprika, none out of five popular people knew how to spell elephant when one was secretly hiding out at their school.  
  
Paprika: You mean KSObese?  
  
Monkey: *starts twitching*  
  
Paprika: What did I say?  
  
Turtle: You're not supposed to say that name.  
  
Paprika: Can I say KBlob?  
  
Monkey: *starts rolling on the floor*  
  
Paprika: Apparently not. Can I say any of you-know-who's other names?  
  
Monkey: *sits up and starts to calm down and shakes head*  
  
Turtle: You can just call that thing you-know-who. *hands a clicky pen to Monkey*  
  
Monkey: *takes clicky pen and clicks it repeatedly* I like clicky pens. Do you like clicky pens? I like clicky pens, 'cause they are clicky.  
  
Turtle: I like happy frogs. Do you like happy frogs? I like happy frogs, 'cause they're lime green.  
  
Paprika: I like striped pajamas. Do you like striped pajamas? I like striped pajamas, 'cause they are stripey.  
  
Giraffe: *has just walked in* What did I miss?  
  
Turtle: Barbie is trying to take over this world with the help of Tibby and Kim, and Monkey just had her second mental breakdown.  
  
Giraffe: Please tell me you're joking.  
  
Monkey: *who has finally snapped out of it* Nopers. Barbie kicked us out of Freece, and we're trying to stop her from taking over the rest of this world.  
  
Giraffe: Damn.  
  
Monkey: Don't swear!  
  
Giraffe: *rolls eyes* 


	16. Another Author's Note

Chapter 16  
  
Another Author's Note  
  
I'm finally going to change my writing style. Instead of writing like a script, I'm going to write it like the story it is. Basically, one of my friends who I'm not going to mention, Monkey, wrote better than I did in that style, so I'm changing back to the style I wrote in before I ever heard of FanFiction. 


	17. And the Plan is?

Disclaimer: I own everything except Barbie, Paprika, Nora, Pantoof, Monkey, Kim, Rhiannon, Aria, Stella, Insartia, Carmenia, Camana, Horse, Giraffe, Stretica, and . . . that's it. I'm so glad that everything's been cleared up.  
  
Chapter 17  
  
And the plan is?  
  
So the adventurers were filling in Giraffe. Then Horse showed up because of some announcement at the Lake at the Edge of the World. (Basically she read the story and decided to come and bother us.) Finally after everyone knew what everyone else was doing there, Horse, being the Queen of Common Sense, asked us if we had a plan. Now we join our heroes as they give their most intelligent answer which is:  
  
"Well . . . kind of . . . sort of . . . no."  
  
"You should really give pep talks more often, Horse. You're so good at it!" said Turtle. "Besides you're the one who comes up with plans. We're just the people who talk a lot and add humor to the horrible situations in which we place ourselves."  
  
"And that means?" Monkey always did ask stupid questions. Everyone just rolled their eyes. "What?" Turtle gave her a look that plainly said, "You are an idiot." "What?!" Once again everyone rolled their eyes and ignored the psychotic fool that Monkey had made herself into.  
  
"Anyway, I figured that we could just do everything in our powers to annoy the preps back to the land of Barbie." Turtle continued.  
  
"Like?" Horse was too sane for her own good.  
  
"Like . . . maybe you could think at them. That would annoy them. Maybe Giraffe could eat a lot in front of them. And Paprika could tell them useless information. Monkey could be insane, and I could say morbid stuff about their futures."  
  
"Good. Does everyone have the plan?" Horse always has to take charge.  
  
No. What do those of us who aren't part of the average person's reality do? Tigris said telepathically.  
  
Turtle had no idea. "Wait! No . . . I've got it! You could dress like Goths!"  
  
"YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Doctress had never been this happy in her life. "I finally have an excuse to wear something other than that stupid lab coat! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone stared. Doctress started to do a little dorky victory dance. Everyone continued to stare as Doctress acted happy. This had never happened before, and nobody was quite sure of what they were supposed to do. Monkey however had an idea. 


	18. The Plan in Action

Disclaimer: All that I own is the plot, Freece, Tibby, Turtle, Tigris, and Doctress.  
  
Chapter 18  
  
The Plan in Action  
  
When last we saw our heroes, they had just come up with a plan. Doctress was happy, but nobody knew what to do except Monkey.  
  
Suddenly, Monkey slapped Doctress in the back of the head. "Snap out of it!"  
  
"Thank you, Monkey," continued Turtle as though nothing had happened. "We should probably journey to Freece to attack them. It's going to be a long journey, so pack a lot of clothes."  
  
"Couldn't you just make a portal to Freece?" Damn Horse's common sense!  
  
"Good point. Is everybody armed?" Rhiannon, Monkey's alternate personality grinned. She was never without weapons. "OK, then. Let's go." Turtle opened a portal to the Royal Palace. They all hurried through. Turtle closed the portal. Suddenly, they realized they had made a huge mistake.  
  
"How wonderful it is to see you." Barbie said as she sat upon Turtle's throne. "I knew you'd get here soon."  
  
"Well, you know me. I never turn down a non-existent invitation, especially when it's to my own country." Turtle would make wise-cracks just when they were in trouble. They had been ambushed. "I'm just sad that you can't tell the future."  
  
"Why's that?" Barbie was playing herself into a trap. Too bad, she couldn't tell the future.  
  
"Because if you could tell the future, you wouldn't have bothered to try and take over Freece. You would have known that you will be defeated and sent back to the land of Barbie where you will lose your throne, because you're such a wimp." In the background, Monkey was telling the others to do their part. They did. "Hey, Tibby! Do you want to know what's gonna happen to you if you stay with Barbie? You'll live in a dirty old trailer married to a dirty old man that you thought had a future, because he used to be the quarterback on the high school football team! And you'll get ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Turtle yelled over the horrible battle.  
  
The preps suddenly thought. There was just enough time for Rhee to tie them up. Aria and Stella did their little crazy dance on top of the preps' heads. 


	19. The Disposal of the Preps

Chapter 19  
  
The Disposal of the Preps  
  
"Wait a second. I'll be right back." Turtle said shape-shifting into a dragon outside of her castle and scooping up the screaming preps onto her back. She flew off towards the Endless Desert.  
  
"This is really bad for our hair you know," said one of the preps who had stopped screaming.  
  
"What a tragedy." Turtle said. "You tried to take over my country. It's your own fault."  
  
"Humph." Turtle flew faster to mess up their hair even more. Either that or she wanted to get rid of them quickly. When she reached the Edge of the World, she dropped all of the preps off of it except for Tibby and Kim who were moping back at the castle. Turtle turned back towards Frakken. 


	20. Epilogue

Chapter 20  
  
Epilogue  
  
When Turtle got back to the castle, the sun was setting. "Hey, Monkey?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What are we gonna do now that all of this is over?"  
  
Paprika had a plan. "I know."  
  
"What?" Turtle and Monkey were really too inquisitive.  
  
"Well . . ."  
  
Find out next time, here on the Adventures of the Queen of Insanity!  
  
(In other words, read The Adventures of the Queen of Insanity: Book 2.) 


End file.
